A conflict concerning honour can appear also in situations where physical violence has not been occurred. The scale of honour related violence is broad – it can appear in different forms from threats to honour murder. Most commonly HRV concerns restrictions that are to do with strict control of different things. Some recognized characteristics of HRV are threatening that refers to woman's honour and honourable behaviour, restrictions concerning, for example, clothing, friends, moving, use of time or school going, isolation that refers to limitation of coming and going, preassure or
force when it comes to, for instance, forced marriage arranged by parents or relatives or other violence that is justified by protection of honour or restoration of it. Women's circumcisions can be added to this category. The extreme forms of honour related violence are actions leading to death that can include forcing into suicide or staging it and honour murder. (Karimi 2009, 159; See also Lidman 2015, 198–199.)
Forced marriages are seen to go under the category of HRV. Especially when talking about Europe, it is the most common form of HRV. Forced marriage refers to a marriage where both or the other spouse has not wanted to get married but has had to do that.
Usually parents or relatives have arranged and discussed about the marriage and often the ones forced to get married are relatives or family friends. It is not uncommon that a youngster is pushed into marriage by using psychical and physical violence. It is good to be aware that also boys can be forced into marriage. The reason for forced marriages being part of HRV is that if a young person refuses to get married it can be interpreted often as shaming the family honour. A child may even be sent sometimes abroad to get married against her/his own will. (Allinen-Calderon et al 2011, 15; Salmenkangas 2006, 6–7; See also Lidman 2015, 255–269.)
There are found different reasons at the background of forced marriages: a man with good income and education can be found to be a potential spouse, young people's behaviour is often wanted to be controlled so that the traditional honour definitions, habits and values would be saved and the relationships outside the community of own ethnicity and religion would be blocked. In addition, a wish to enhance the financial situation of the family can be at the background. That wish can be achieved if the family of fiancée pays the dowry for the family of bride. Through forced marriage also the social status and relations to community can be tried to strengthen. Some other motives also can concern family resources in the home country which are wanted to keep inside the kin or a residence permit that is tried to get for the people abroad like uncles or cousins. The only common way to avoid forced marriage is to run away from home which means that a person steps outside the whole ethnic community and social network. (Allinen-Calderon et al 2011, 15; Salmenkangas 2006, 7; See also Lidman
2015, 266–267.) In the light of this we can understand that if a girl or a woman goes, for example, to search help from a shelter, it has been a huge decision for her. It is also good to keep in mind that forced marriages and arranged marriages are not the same thing.
Female circumcision or female genital mutilation or cutting is one of the most serious form of HRV (Lidman 2015, 239). It refers to female genital cutting, partly or wholly, or violation of them in some other way like incising, stabbing, burning or sowing closed.
Many times this operation is done by unclean tools and hence it increases the risk of woman to be contaminated by chronical virus infections like HIV, AIDS, B- or C-hepatitis. The experience that is painful and shocking can cause lifelong anxiety, depression, fear and traumas. After the cutting, there appears continuous infections and pains. For example urination and periods are really painful not to mention sexual intercourse or delivering a baby. (Allinen-Calderon et al 2011, 184.) In its worst, the cutting may, for example, lead to physical and psychical inability to enjoy sex and closeness as well as it may make the girl closed and submissive (Lidman 2015, 246).
Female circumcision is often tried to justify with religious reasons even though there cannot be found an explanation from Koran or Bible for that. Explanations concerning culture and women's position are common. There is a thought prevailing that a woman who is not circumcised cannot get married. (Allinen-Calderon et al 2011, 184.)
Härkönen (2004, 101–102) brings out that female circumcision culture has also its roots in honour thinking. If a wife is guilty of adultery or if a daughter has sex before marriage, the whole kin will be under the shame. Apparently destroying sexuality decreases the temptation to destroy the reputation of the kin. The purpose of circumcision is to protect women from their own sexuality. In many countries this is seen to be necessary so that the reputation of community and social order would not be crushed because of woman's lust. Koran does not tell to mutilate women. Instead this habit has its roots in African tribal cultures from Stone Age. From there it was spread alongside with Islam to other parts of the world. (ibid) Female circumcision leans on patriarchal practices but in practice it is also violence accepted and practiced by women
(Lidman 2015, 239).
Karimi (2009, 186–187) brings out that when talking about youngsters, there are different factors which can refer to the risk of becoming a target of HRV. Despite youngster's wish, a family member may accompany him/her to school or hobbies. A youngster may stop going to school or hobby or her/his motivation to study or participate in leisure time activities suddenly weakens. Alongside with this she/he may seem depressed, suicidal, withdrawing or she/he acts in another way exceptionally. The older siblings of a youngster may have gotten married at a young age and the arranged marriages or forced marriages have not been uncommon in the family. The decent dressing of young girls in the family may be paid extra attention and violence is used if the rules are not kept. The family may have a thought of going against a girl if the community has heard things or rumors about her that in the sight of family are shameful. If a girl is dating or there is a doubt that she is dating with someone who in the eyes of family does not get support, the risk of HRV is present or if there has been honour related cases also earlier in the family. Some other risks concern girls who have been sexually abused or if it is common that people get married inside family and there are financial contracts or contracts between tribes concerning the marriage arrangements. It is also a risk if a girl wants to marry someone else than the one she may have been promised to. (Ibid.)
Often the overall situation where the family is, also affects the way how the family reacts. The behavioural models of the family may become more traditional because of possible disappointments when moving or because of sudden changes inside the family.
The position of parents can also be connected to the risk of honour conflicts. The risk gets higher if the parents are excluded in the society and if they do not have positive view of Finnish culture. If the parents have central role within their community the risk grows, too, and Karimi also says that if the parents come from countryside the risk is higher because there the hounour conflicts are more common. It is also good to acknowledge as outside helpers that the family members have greater pressure to react to the lost of honour and act to get the honour back if many people from immigrant
community will get to know about the shameful thing that has happened. (Karimi 2009, 187.)