Relationships

It became evident that the relationships the research participant established during their sojourn indeed had a positive role to play in their adaptation to Indonesia. The strong ties in respondents’ social networks mainly consisted of host family members (host ties), local Indonesian AIESEC students (host ties), international AIESEC students (international ties). Among international AIESEC students, some of the respondents met persons of their own nationalities and established relationships with them (ethnic ties).

Some of the respondents met sojourners who were not related to their AIESEC/AFS activities with whom they established relationships. Hereafter, I will refer to those persons as other international sojourners. For further clarification, by the terms “local people” or “Indonesians” or “Indonesian people”, I am referring to local Indonesian people in general; people the students met on the street, people working in grocery stores etc., in other words, people with whom the students did not have a relationship.

When I am referring to Indonesian people with whom the respondents did establish relationships, I will state that. Furthermore, weak ties refers to the people with whom the respondents were acquainted, but with whom a strong emotional tie did not exist.

All the respondents reported that the relationships – both strong and weak ties – were perceived important in their adaptation to Indonesia because of the support they provided. Depending on the intimacy of the relationships, the respondents received different kinds of support. Relationships that became more intimate were perceived important as they provided the respondents emotional, informational and tangible support. Emotional support was perceived extremely valuable in their adaptation process.

In her answers, RP8 brings up several times how she appreciated the support she received from her host family members. In the following extract she describes how she felt living in a host family and establishing warm relations with them was a key element in her positive experience in Indonesia.

(11) The experience of having a host family helped me a lot. It gave me a sanctuary at the start of the internship and did not stop there but they were consistent all through out of my stay. (RP8)

RP7 established close bonds with her host family members, especially her host family sister. She brings up many times the importance of the close relationship she had with her host sister and how they could spend hours together discussing and how she felt it was important that she could share her thoughts with that person. In addition to the emotional aspect, she appreciated greatly her host family having her in the house and providing her everything she needed, which made her life easier.

(12) The biggest factor that truly helped me while I was there was the host family I lived with. They really helped to make everything simpler and easier for me. I had a cozy bed to sleep in, meals whenever I wanted, a clean bathroom and hospitality that is so endearing and loving. These were essential on my journey, they made life easier. One becomes very grateful for these things. I was so blessed that I had an amazing, caring, relaxed and fun host family! (RP7)

RP9 also established close relations with her host family members. She felt that those relations were really important to her. Especially, when she was having negative emotions due to living in a foreign country, she felt that the support she received from her host parents was valuable. She explains:

(13) Sometimes I did really feel lonely and upset, especially when it was [the name of the big traditional festival in the country of origin] during which we [nationality] normally stay with families. But staying with my host family was very comforting. I even went to a traditional wedding with [host family parents].

The host family helped me easily to adapt to the brand new environment. (RP9)

In addition to the close relationships she established with her host family members, she made two close international friends. She feels those relationships, with her host family members and with the two international friends, were the key to her positive Indonesian experience.

(14) If I had not made friends with them [strong ties], I would have felt lonely and could not help enduring 40 days in a foreign country. (RP9)

RP4 was clearly having difficulties in adapting to Indonesian culture. She repeatedly reports feeling lonely, upset and frustrated and that she felt she was an “outsider” in Indonesia. She spent a lot of time at home with her host family members with whom she established close relations, especially with her host family sister. She reports that she felt very anxious when being out of the house, but at home, however, she felt relaxed and at ease because of the nice host family members. She says that the members of her host family were the most important people for her during her stay in Indonesia.

(15) I never felt at home on the street or at school, but I did feel at home when I was with my host family. […] My host family was very friendly and they treated me as one of them since the first day. (RP4)

In addition to establishing an especially close bond with her host sister, RP4 became close also with an international friend and with an Indonesian woman. She explains that the fact that she could share her negative emotions she was having and discuss the matters that were upsetting her with those persons helped her a lot in dealing with her negative emotions.

(16) Those times [speaking with the three closest persons] really helped me to avoid being overwhelmed by culture shocks and my experiences and gave me an opportunity to, for an instant, escape from it all. (RP4)

RP1 was also encountering some difficulties in adapting to Indonesia. She felt that the close bond she had established with a local AIESEC student helped her to feel better as she felt that this friend was very supportive. The fact that this friend understood RP1’s problems and could empathize with her was very comforting for RP1.

(17) [My buddy] was important because she understood why I was not very satisfied. And she was very supportive. (RP1)

In addition to support the respondents received, the relationships were perceived valuable also because the respondents learnt different aspects about Indonesian culture.

This is how RP6 reflects her cultural learning:

(18) Those relationships were important for me because I was able to communicate my feelings and I learned about the Indonesian society from another perspective. I learned to respect people´s beliefs and accept the situation living the experience as well. (RP6)

Not only the strong ties, but also the weak ties had an important role in the students’

positive Indonesian sojourn. The relationships with weak ties were perceived important as they offered the respondents informational support. In the below extracts RP5 and RP10 explain which were the aspects during their sojourn they felt made their adaptation easier. By local people RP10 is referring to her Indonesian acquaintances as well as to her strong ties.

(19) It [adaptation] was positive and relatively easy because I received a lot of assistance from local people. Without the help I think it would be very difficult for me. (RP10)

(20) They, like my host family, always helped me with everything and tried to give their best that I feel well in Malang. Just awesome! (RP5)

Some of the respondents report that the relationships, both strong and weak ties, were important to them simply because the people provided them company. One respondent describes her life in Indonesia as very lonely time and she felt the relationships were important to her especially because they did not have to be alone and they had something to do and they had some nice activities to do.